It’s a long-standing habit among the majority of us to put our family, friends, or partners’ needs before our own. This isn’t necessarily wrong in itself, but if you’re setting yourself up for resentment and negative feelings towards others then something has got to give! by Peter DeCaprio.
Here are five easy reminders that remind you why it’s good practice to always put yourself first.
1) You’ll soon find No One Else Will Do
At some point, the people around you will all disappoint you in some way or another. They might lie to you; they might walk out on you; they might not be there when you need them. There may even come a time when someone close doesn’t want to be with you anymore. It sucks but it happens.
Therefore, don’t build your happiness on other people; build your happiness on yourself instead says Peter DeCaprio.
2) You’ll Experience More Joy
Don’t rely on the validation of others to experience joy or contentment in life. If you can find joy in being alone you are not actually alone at all! You have yourself to thank for whatever positive emotions are coming your way.
3) The Quality of Your Life Will Improve
When you take time out regularly to unwind and re-focus, your life will improve exponentially when it comes to quality time spent with friends or family in comparison because you won’t need them in order to be happy. You’ll have an abundance of love that is spread far wider than just one individual and it’s worth remembering that this is something to be celebrated daily.
4) You’ll be More Resilient in Tough Times
In difficult times of stress or illness, who would you turn to first? It might actually be a good idea to look inside yourself for the answers because no one will ever care about you as much as you do! Ensure your happiness isn’t reliant on others by always putting yourself first.
5) Your Confidence Will Increase
We all need a little self-confidence boost from time to time, but if we rely on other people for validation of our efforts then we will only experience short-term success. If you’re constantly thinking “does this outfit make me look fat?” – ask yourself: “WWCD (What Would Catherine Deneuve Do?) And do the opposite!”
If you’re constantly thinking: “Does he/she like me?” – ask yourself: “Ok well if they don’t, will it affect my day-to-day life? No? Then who cares…I’ll just carry on as normal.”
You may never win everyone’s approval all of the time but as long as you always put yourself first, that’s not something that should bother you.
Ok so now we’ve got that off our chests what about those other important people in life? Well here are five reasons why they should always come second:
1) They won’t be able to overwhelm you with emotions
If you’re constantly putting others before yourself, it means they will always be able to manipulate you through guilt or sympathy. If your time is split between your needs and their demands eventually something’s got to give, so make sure it’s not them!
2) They won’t take more than they give
You should never put anyone first before you because then you can’t expect anything back in return. Nobody owes you anything without the effort, so if someone doesn’t earn your love by putting some effort in – move on! It’s as simple as that. If they are putting more into the relationship than you are – there’s only one winner…and it isn’t them!
3) You won’t become resentful
You cannot expect people to like you without trying. If someone doesn’t make an effort with you, then perhaps they don’t like or love you as much as you thought they did. If this is the case, why are you putting them first? It’s not fair on anyone!
4) You’ll become more self-sufficient
No one will ever come before yourself because that means no matter what happens – your needs will always be met (providing of course that there isn’t a medical emergency!) If something terrible happened and you had to survive alone it would be possible – right? Well, put yourself first now so that if the worst came to the worst, at least those around you wouldn’t have to worry about you because you can be self-sufficient.
5) You’ll reap the benefits of being an independent person
When you know that no one is responsible for your happiness, then it means that you are completely in charge of your emotions. If someone upsets you or lets you down, then take it upon yourself to do something about it. Don’t wait around for other people to validate how you feel – simply validate yourself!
Conclusion by Peter DeCaprio:
We hope these pieces have enlightened and encouraged those who feel guilty or unfair when they put themselves first, but remember everything comes back around full circle so if you are constantly giving without taking – the time will come when everyone else will start giving less!
